SO. TBCC is in less than a week. That's incredibly exciting. I've currently got five days to get my cosplay finished and I'm thinking that it might be cutting it close but for the most part, it'll be done by then so yay! ^_^ There's just a couple more things I need to do with it but for the most part, it is finished! I'm still not gonna reveal it yet, though
I've got to keep you guessing! I might post a couple hints, though, throughout the week just to keep you on your toes haha
As for the other things, le Crushboy and I somewhat started talking again? The day after I wrote my last journal with the huge depressed rant about how he was shutting me out, we had a few small conversations on facebook and it was wonderful. The first was that he had posted two walkthrough videos of him playing the beta version of that new videogame, Destiny (with his own commentary that is absolutely brilliant and hilarious <3), and I had commented on the first one because he was wandering around this abandoned junkyard with all these rusty cars in-game, despite the little robot dude's warnings that they needed to get inside the wall, and he comes across this puddle right? So basically this was all what happened next:
Crushboy: FUCKING PUDDLE!
Robot: You can hear me, right?
Robot: We are going to die out here.
Crushboy: Yeah we are!
Robot: I need you to trust me on this.
Robot: We'll be safer inside.
Crushboy: Says you! *says in sing-song voice as he's jumping around in said puddle* I'm jump-in' in a puddle!
So I commented saying I had completely lost my shit when he started puddle-jumping and that I wasn't even sorry and for the next day or two he never said anything back, which kind of heightened my fear he was avoiding me or shutting me out or something, but then the day after I wrote those journals, he finally did comment something back. AND NOT ONLY THAT BUT HE TAGGED ME IN THE COMMENT. I died a little. Okay, no, nevermind, I died a lot. My hands started shaking so badly I could barely type. FUCKING SHIT, WHY DO I LIKE HIM SO MUCH?!? *faceplant* So then that turned into a small conversation in itself where we ended up having a small version of one of those conversations where we end up swapping pictures back and forth and it was wonderful. I think he got a smidge pissed off at me by the end of it, though, because I just *had* to interject with an image of the character my super secret summer cosplay is of and he commented back with a picture of an aggravated Jigglypuff that said, "That really puffled my jigglies". So unless that phrase can be used as a sign of sexual arousal and "jigglies" is a euphemism for something else, he might've gotten a little aggravated with me by then haha. Whoops. Not sorry XD The other conversation was fantastic, though, because I had posted those horror-themed pictures (the ones with the stitch makeup) and I'm guessing he saw them because the one I posted that I titled "i miss you", I put on my facebook with the first verse of the Blink182 song by the same name and he commented back: "Don't-waste your-time on-me You're-al~ rea-dy The voice inside my head" so I said back "Where are you? And I'm so sorry/I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight/I need somebody and always/This sick, strange darkness/Comes creeping on so haunting every time/And as I stared I counted the webs from all the spiders/Catching things and eating their insides/My indecision to call you and hear your voice of treason/Will you come home and stop this pain tonight? Stop this pain tonight XD" and he was like "Why you gotta make me repeat myself?" and I said back "Hey, I never said you *had* to repeat yourself XD" and then I started getting into a conversation with one of my other friends who said she was crying over the pictures and when I told her not to cry and asked her why, le Crushboy injected himself into the conversation and was like "They might be tears of undying fear of your "Sally" cos" and it was great. I didn't say anything back to him but liked the comment to at least acknowledge it but it was so great. He not only tagged me in a response comment on one of his things but commented on a picture of mine, too. That marks three times now that he's commented on something I've posted and that just makes me so incredibly happy, it's disgusting. We talked one other time, very briefly, after that, too, through texting, and that's another interesting story, by the way.
I was having a conversation with my mom because I had a guidance appointment Thursday to talk about taking some college classes this year. Apparently I have to go to an orientation at the college before getting the okay from my high school to take the classes there, which I thought was completely ridiculous, ESPECIALLY since nobody told me about this. The next orientation is apparently on the fifth but the counselor I met with told us that it'd be cutting it incredibly close and that the classes might've already filled up for all he knows. I had told him I wanted to substitute the college art class for AP art because I just can't stand another year of my awful art teacher (I've gotten on her good side but she yells at everyone and plays horrible music and she has mold in her paint, among a gazillion other health hazards scattered throughout her classroom). Mr. Counselor Man was saying shit about how even if I did get in the college art class, that he'd rather me drop the second art class they signed me up for this year rather than the AP art because it looks better on my records and shit and was basically making me feel incredibly awful and like I was making the worst possible decisions and everything. He made me feel like he wasn't *willing* to do what I asked of him, that he wasn't *willing* to let me be in control of my own schedule, you know? And that was a horrible feeling. I NEED to get out of these high school art classes. They're killing me. Especially AP art. Because I feel like my teacher barely even gave me a choice about it. She brought up the subject once and asked me if I'd be interested and handed me a packet about it but I didn't really think it through much and just told the counselor the day we were to sign up for what classes we wanted this year to just put it down and then, like, a week later my teacher comes by and plops this heavy drawstring backpack on my desk with a textbook inside and a folder with this list of all the projects we're supposed to do this upcoming year AND summer projects THAT WERE REQUIRED AND FOR A GRADE. LIKE, WHAT THE ACTUAL EVERLIVING FUCK?!?!? This past school year was the most horrendous fucking thing to crawl out of the pit of existence (with the exception of le Crushboy, even though that hasn't been an easy climb, either) and I don't quite think she understands that I've NEEDED these past two or three months TO MYSELF. To glue myself back together again, to relax, to not worry about any schoolwork or stress, to do my own things and fulfill my own hobbies. I can't spend the entire summer continuing to do shit for her. I CAN'T. And yet she expects us to march right in there with all these pieces done of course only to bash them in front of our faces later. Because this teacher is an absolute monster. I've spent two years with her already so I can fully vouch for this statement. I'VE DONE MY TIME IN AZKABAN. I'M NOT GOING BACK, GOD DAMMIT. EVEN IF I HAVE TO HIDE OUT IN THE BATHROOM AND SKIP THAT CLASS EVERY DAY UNTIL I GET A CLASS CHANGE. And it's not like it's even a huge fucking deal, either, because it's a fucking elective and I actually don't even need it, so I don't see why there's such a fuss about getting me the fuck out of there. And it aggravates me, too, because I had everything planned out. I had a plan, a blueprint, a map. Everything was all sorted and organized, I had all my ducks in a row about this, and then that stupid, goddamn guidance appointment made me feel like all of that was trashed like a two year old barging into your private office and rearranging everything. Because it wasn't just for the sake of my sanity, either. It was for the sake of a relationship. I mean, I'm not basing this entire situation on le Crushboy so let's just get that out of the way. I'm only saying that would be a bonus. Because he's an artist and he took the art class there with my Elsa this past year and will no doubt be taking more art classes there, I'm sure of it. He said he was taking two there this past year but he wants to be an art teacher so no doubt he'll be taking more. I just figured that all of this would work out perfectly, though, because I'd be able to get out of the art class with my horrendous teacher at my high school, I'd get a taste of what college classes are like so I can dip my feet into the water, gradually get used to the college scheme of things, and then as a bonus I could end up in the same class as le Crushboy, forcing me to see him every week and thus giving me absolutely no excuse to not talk to him which would, in turn, bring us closer and then we'd become better friends and thus give me a better chance for this to turn into something. It'd be like a huge package deal, a beautiful Christmas present all wrapped up and tied together with a bright, shiny bow. And back when he was shutting me out, that plan was my last hope. But speaking of that and the last little tidbit of conversation we had had, I was incredibly depressed about this whole jeopardy I felt my plan had gotten put into that I went completely silent and stand-offish at the mention of anything regarding it the next night at dinnertime. When my parents started pestering me about what was wrong, I pulled my mom into my room and explained the entire situation to her. She understood where I was coming from but kept telling me that I was going to lose him because I was so afraid and was living in fear, always coming up with excuses not to talk to him and shit. She told me I needed to step out of the box for once and kept drilling that entire concept into my brain so much to the point where at one point, I dove across my bed and snagged my phone and sneered at her, "You know what?! I'm stepping out of the box!" and texted him. I asked him if he was doing anything this weekend but he said he was working and asked me why, so I told him that I figured he had work but was just wondering because I was pretty bored 85% of the time and that everyone always already had plans and everything so I just thought I'd ask and such and he said he was sorry and I replied back that it was fine and that I completely understood but that if he ever was bored and had nothing to do one of these days, that he shouldn't hesitate to hit me up or anything because chances are, I'd be bored with nothing to do, too. He never responded right then, probably because he was at work at the time and had texted me back on his break or something and didn't have time to get back to me afterwards. I had wanted to go into his work and see him today or something, like go in and get lunch and come across him but I didn't get around to it or anything, unfortunately. I had spent the entire day with my grandmother-- she took me shopping and bought me part of my cosplay and a new dress (which I'm in love with) and then we went back to her house and made brownies and played on the computer together before she dropped me off at home and stayed for dinner and dessert and we all watched the Hangover together (it was my grandmother's first time watching it and when I asked her how she liked it afterwards, she said it was crazy, so then I asked her "good crazy or bad crazy?" and she said "...crazy crazy" XD). I think she liked it, though. She was laughing quite a bit throughout it. I just don't think she was very fond of the more vulgar parts, especially the wedding singer at the end. Either way, it was a pretty fun day and she got to see a sneak peek of my almost-finished summer cosplay (she has to help me with the finishing touches) and I mean, at first she seemed pretty indifferent about it and everything but as soon as I walked in in the entire costume, she seemed so much more into it, like she was really intrigued and interested and excited and amazed and such. That was a good feeling. She's one of my best friends and seeing her so intrigued by it afterwards was a huge confidence boost, especially since I need some of her help on it. But yes, hopefully I will be able to finish it by at least Friday at the latest so it's ready for the con on Saturday, especially since it's almost finished but if somehow, for some reason, I'm unable to finish it in time or something, my backup plan is Merida since she's one of my favorites to wear :3 I'm really rooting for my super secret summer cosplay to be finished by then, though. Fingers crossed, everybody!