|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
upholsteryI hate insomnia. And I hate anxiety. I hate how they act as if I can control this, that if I try hard enough, I can eradicate this hell in an instant like it's controlled by some tangible button. I hate how they don't understand. They punish me for things that are out of my reach. I want to sleep but my body won't let me: it racks me with yawns yet refuses to keep me calm enough to slip away. My brain, that twisted little organ, keeps manufacturing scenarios that keep me awake; it mixes your voice with my fear and the shrill static of radio signals, the chemical burns of poorly developed photographs, schlopsing along in disturbed psychadelia. And all the while my heart pounds at the slightest mention of you, pulsing adrenaline through tender veins like Nirvana journeying through earbud wires. I crave your attention, for a taste of your narcolepsy so I can finally sooth this unbearable itch which keeps me from overcoming your obstacle. Constantly I find myself tugging at the stitching t
8There is sea glass in my lungs. Bottles of undelivered messages smashed and worn down from the unforgiving waters in my chest.
The DarknessThe Darkness
Dark is night,
Dark is fire,
Dark is the absence of the light,
Dark is a deep desire,
Night is calm,
Night is wish,
It's not something you can hold in your palm,
Night is the blackest of the pitch,
Black is the absence of colour,
Black is not always empty,
Black makes the waves of your body flutter,
Black is as black as it can be,
The abyss is darkness,
The abyss is strange,
The abyss leaves you helpless,
The abyss may have you forever changed.
Her Thoughts on LifeIt is cruel, it is unfair
Throws you surprises without a care...
It is sick, it is twisted
It's darkness is oh so demented...
It is complicated, it is uncontrollable
It can make you feel so emotional...
It is magical, it is beautiful,
The truths in the winds can be musical.
It is unique, it is a blessing,
It can leave you always guessing.
It is special, it is everlasting
It's moments depends on how you're acting.
MindtravelClenching his delicate fingers and looking into his eyes, I almost felt like I'd faint. I did black out, but awoke in what appeared to be outer space.
I thought I'd die of the said asphyxiation that made you lose breath, but I didn't. I was breathing just fine. I thought I was alone, floating in this lovely space, but I wasn't.
He was right in front of me, black eyes gleaming in the sun. He extended his hands like he did before we appeared in this place. I held them and looked into his eyes.
Within those eyes, I saw everything. The truths behind lies, the feeling of being brought back to life, what truly happened before and the cloaked truths that were never before seen.
We let go and everything faded back to the room we were sitting in. I was poisoned, but that was merely a remainder of what was left of him. I'd remember him by this poison.
Birthday PoemBirthday Poem
Spring is a delight,
Summer is nice,
One year dies as a new one takes flight,
Your warm as fire but not cold as ice,
May your journey lead you to the best of things,
The birth of you is something to hold dear,
Take life that's fit for queens and kings,
Happy Birthday to you with a raised glass of beer!
Just me.I've always been different and weird, I won't deny it. I used to hang out a lot more with adults and "mature" people, instead of kids my age. We just didn't get along. That caused me to be the loner in school…the weirdo and outsider everyone would pick on. I've never experienced bad bullying, but some kind of mistreatment has always been there. Let me explain my way of thinking. Why? Because almost everyone I know calls me and my thoughts weird and complex. They're not if you at least TRY to understand them. You will understand if there's at least a little bit of human in you.
The world has always influenced me, not doubting it. Many people just come along as they see me cry and say "Stop it; there are people who are much more miserable than you. Poor people for example". Yes, but have those people telling me this ever considered that my sadness actually IS because of so many people suffering? Nope. The world is cruel and unfair, telling us what to do and who to be. If we don't f
ProtestsI run past your Ivory Tower
Rich white kids handing out fake flowers
Since the real ones are too delicate
For their egos and their benefit.
I look at their protest posters
Arts & crafts projects made of glitter
Perfectly parading a Muslim name
While mine's spelled the American way
Out of shame.
I see the sun setting down
White flesh matching
The house they're marching to
I don't know why I'm not so grateful
Of the shouts from their souls coming through
I run back to my home
Protest posters thrown away and gone
I can't defend myself without
The armor from the colonizers
Who can't pronounce my name
I Need YouWhy do you always do that?
Disappear almost immediately...
I'm sure you have a reason,
but I need you.
I have no one else to go to;
no one else is really there.
I can barely stand.
Please come back...
I feel like I'm being torn;
ripped apart at the seams.
My heart is aching
and my soul is in pain.
I've been trying to stay strong,
for you of course,
but it's so hard
and it hurts so much.
Why does this always happen
to you and I?
Can things never go our way?
Can't I just be happy?
Why can't there be no pain.
I just want to see the joy in your eyes.
I don't want things to be like this.
Please, just...answer me.
I need you.
try all you might
resolution in sight
nevertheless it takes flight
agnate a kite
the prospective is it bright
happiness is a priviledge
albeit not a right
to my delight
in this wacky world
so wacky and trite
there is no one else to hold the light
the jellyfish flow
is all that i know
the mundane existence of eternally slow
the gradual decline of lethargy ill show
nowhere else is there to try
or to go
so minsanthropy is the good for now
while the soul grows mold
and while your body's always warm
its so hard to just be cold
Cycle of a Broken HeartDusk welcomes the burial of my perfectly good heart
Shattered without even the chance for love to start
For the one single soul it yearned for most
Didn't notice and claimed a new host
Midnight stars console my depress'ed soul
Keeled over, teary-eyed, in it's giant hole
Wishing that I was the one he chose
To have and to hold, his delicate rose
Morning sunrise welcomes a new beau
The cushion to fall back on which softens the blow
He is the refuge I take comfort in
Though not as passionate as that first sin
Afternoon cycles such indecision
Which do I stay with, who I love within?
The one who has already been stolen
Or the one who I have started to console in?
The dusk once again returns with it's sorrow
The sun asleep before the come of tomorrow
And so the cycle endlessly courses
Until I, too, am buried beneath with the corpses
Nine TimesI saw him nine times.
The first time we were both sitting in the room together, getting ready to take the math test that would determine our placement. I was scatterbrained and throwing things around, trying to find the pencils that I had known I would need but had still just tossed in my purse. He was lounging backwards in his chair, looking for all the world as though he didn’t have a single care in the world, including the upcoming test. It annoyed me, that I was frantic and ready to scream, while someone else could be that relaxed.
I tested out of the class.
I don’t know if he did.
The second time I saw him, it was a few months after I arrived on campus. He was the one rushing and frantic this time, running across the square. He was probably late for class, though I had no way of knowing for sure. I was already lost in my own thoughts and ideas, deciding on my major and convincing people that yes, this is what I really want to do with my life. If they weren
Keep in Touch!